SABIAN
Verity, looks like Owen has set his sights on your pet.
VERITY
(coldly)
She can handle herself.
LUCY
Owen is an idiot.
VERITY
With a vendetta. I hope that he makes her a little uncomfortable. Serves her right for thinking she doesn’t need protection.
Owen walks up to Lesson. She just stares at him, not moving. He puts a hand on the wall next to her and leans in.
OWEN
Warden.
LESSON
Can I help you?
He looks back over his shoulder.
OWEN
I see that your mistress is cold today. Rose tells me that you had quite the spat yesterday.
LESSON
Remind me.
OWEN
Something about a lover’s quarrel. Didn’t you know how many people your lover has fucked?
Lesson gives him a once over.
LESSON
You have me at a disadvantage. You clearly know more about my situation than I do yours. Last I saw you, you were just the guy with a death-grip on his sword flat on his back. I wasn’t aware we were supposed to be gathering background on each other. Are we nemeses?
OWEN
Funny.
LESSON
So I’ve been told.
OWEN
I don’t think you understand the position you’re in. You’re Valleau’s bitch now. It’s quite the downgrade from the Warden who haunted the streets.
LESSON
I mean, I don’t want people talking about me at all. What does being her bitch entail?
OWEN
Usually sitting pretty. I don’t know what she wants with you.
LESSON
Right? If you find out please tell me, because I’ve been racking my mind for the last few weeks.
He leans back, irritated.
OWEN
You seem to be counting on Verity stepping in. But she’s the sort to leave her pets alone for hours at times. She’s easily distracted. She’s lost them before. And they weren’t nearly as obnoxious.
LESSON
Vampires are sensitive creatures, Owen. I’m pretty sure I have six ways to incapacitate you before you even get the idea. (she looks at his neck deliberately) Did you know that the neck is pretty muscular… But I see that you have a few spots that are… extra bulked out. That wouldn’t have anything to do with your unusual parasite would it?
He stiffens. He jerks away, turning the room.
OWEN
Ladies and gentlemen. I know that times have been hard lately. Our grand Archduke’s illness has brought uncertainty onto all of us. But, why should we start with somberness? Severity. I suggest a little levity? Entertainment? What say you?
Verity stiffens. Sabian steps forward.
SABIAN
And what were you think of as “fun,” Owen?
OWEN
Do you remember many decades ago? Before Francis died? He used to bring humans in for some of the best fights.
Verity and Lesson flash a look at each other.
OWEN
And… purely by happenstance… We have two very well-trained fighters here in the room with us.
He gestures to the large, young male collared fighter and then Lesson.
LESSON
(practical, not afraid)
Oh fuck no.
The room turns to her. Verity snaps a look, surprised, despite herself. Lesson looks at her, shocked she’s shocked.
LESSON
He’s three times my size in every direction!
VERITY
You could take him.
Lesson’s shaking her head.
OWEN
This isn’t really for the pets to say.
LESSON
I’m pretty sure Verity doesn’t want my face punched in.
VERITY
I mean… You’re agile?
LESSON
(to Owen)
What kind of rules we talking?
OWEN
Knock out.
LESSON
Nah.
VERITY
I am not letting any damage come to my person, are you crazy?
OWEN
You think she’ll lose?
VERITY
I think I have nothing to gain.
Conan steps forward.
CONAN
Oh, come on, girls. Owen’s right. These meetings are horribly tedious. I’m sure the Warden can take down a human man.
LESSON
Fuck you, Conan. You just want to see me bloody.
Some vampires laugh in shock.
CONAN
(grinning)
Based on what you were talking about yesterday, I can’t imagine one boy could do.
LESSON
I am at a severe disadvantage here. He is much stronger, we’re in a confined space, and unless we’re stabbing each other…?
OWEN
No weapons.
She holds up her hands.
CONAN
I believe in you.
He winks at her. Verity braces. Lesson reconsiders.
LESSON
Hey, kid, what are you trained in?
The kid grins.
ROBERT
Sambo.
LESSON
Absolutely not.
CONAN
I’ll put a hundred reserve notes on the Warden.
Lesson barks a laugh. Verity flickers a look between the two of them, then scowls in jealousy.
VERITY
Five hundred marks on the Warden.
LESSON
Verity, what the fuck.
VERITY
You’ve been courting danger since you got here. I think you need a little exercise.
OWEN
Awe, you not working her out enough at night, Verity?
LESSON
Okay. Fine. I’m in. Let’s talk rules.
OWEN
Knock out. No weapons. Do not leave the room.
Lesson bends down to tie her boot.
LESSON
No. First to three strikes or “mercy.” Max time of three minutes.
CONAN
This isn’t a child’s sport. Three strikes?
LESSON
I hate counting higher than that.
Verity quickly turns away.
CONAN
Boxing rules. Ten points. Determined by me.
LESSON
Determined by Sabian.
OWEN
Sabian?!
LESSON
He hates everyone in this room equally. He’s the most objective.
CONAN
No fouls.
LESSON
Anything goes?
She stands up and stretches. The boy is already ready.
CONAN
Anything goes.
OWEN
No weapons.
LESSON
What constitutes as a weapon?
He looks at her like she’s an idiot.
OWEN
A weapon.
LESSON
A rock?
OWEN
There’s no rocks in here.
LESSON
But would it be a weapon.
CONAN
Anything that would be removed at the door.
She grins.
LESSON
Deal. (turning to Verity.) You asked for this, babe. (to the kid.) Now, I’ll give you 10 reserve notes if you punch me in the face.
VERITY
Excuse me?
LESSON
Twenty if you knock out a tooth.
VERITY
Now wait a minute…
ROBERT
They’re betting a hundred.
LESSON
Do I look like I have a hundred reserve notes? I’d spend it all on booze. Now, here’s the deal. I’m gonna fight dirty, so don’t leave any openings, alright?
ROBERT
Won’t be a problem.
LESSON
Let’s go.
OWEN
Now, wait… I’m taking all bets? Who thinks the Warden will get pummeled?
The room erupts with noise. Lesson huffs. Verity walks up behind Lesson and grabs her by the back of her shirt and yanks her close. She whispers in her ear:
VERITY
If he so much as scratches your face, I’ll kill him. Just a friendly reminder.
LESSON
You’re not helping, Verity, believe it or not.
VERITY
You don’t need my help, remember?
LESSON
I never said that.
Verity shoves her forward. Lesson gets on her feet. Verity steps back, scowling.
SABIAN
What are you mad about? You got her into this.
VERITY
He better not touch my girl.
LUCY
Oh, she’s getting clobbered.
VERITY
Just you wait, Lucy.
LESSON
Can we get on with this?
OWEN
Ladies and gentlemen! I give you, the Warden, and her last day on this planet. Go.
The kid gets into position. Lesson puts her hands in her pockets and casually walks forward.
LESSON
You know, I only knew a few people who really embraced the sambo style. Not the most glamorous…
ROBERT
Put your hands up.
LESSON
Alright. But I don’t know if I should get close enough to let you test out your moves…
He considers and then strides forward, fists out, quickly breaching the distance. Lesson jumps back, but not in fear, instead to kick upward. Her boot, which she had actually untied, flies up and hits him in the jaw. The kid is taken off guard and she uppercuts him in the face and knees him in the stomach. The vampires groan enthusiastically before she jumps back, recreating distance.
LESSON
How many points, Sabian.
SABIAN
(grinning)
One.
Verity gives him a dirty look.
LESSON
Are you kidding me?
The kid comes at her fast. She dances back. He keeps trying to grab at her but she’s keeps spinning away until she starts getting back into the wall. The vampires make space for them, but she is running out of room. Finally he grabs onto her jacket. She strips it off. Several of the vampires holler. He goes to hit and makes contact with her skull.
SABIAN
One point!
LESSON
Oh, God, this is going to go on forever! Just grab me already.
He grabs her by the back of the shirt, and goes to flip her over, but she grabs onto the skin of his arm and yanks him down instead. He drags her down with him, but flips her away from him and she and he manage to both roll back onto her feet.
LESSON
No, no, not like that. Isn’t most of your moves supposed to be kicks? Kick me already.
He gets ahold of her and goes to knock her off her feet by sweeping out her leg, but she slides out and gets amp opportunity to bite him hard. He screams out and throws him off of her. She lands and rolls. They begin to dance around each other.
LESSON
Your footwork needs work.
He goes to kick her.
LESSON
Do you skip leg day?
He kicks her dead in the stomach.
SABIAN
Five points!
She splutters, glaring at him.
VERITY
What the hell, Sabian?
SABIAN
There’s rules, Lesson. Figure them out.
She considers. He has a hold of her and grabs her by the back to throw her on the ground again. She grabs his arm and keeps spinning, knocking him down too. She gets to her feet. He grabs her leg and she manages to balance and stomp hard with her booted foot. He lets go and she dances free, getting to the center of the room.
LESSON
Alright. We need to figure out Captain Sadism’s point system. I recommend we do a little trial and error.
ROBERT
How about I try and you error?
He punches at her several times. She dodges.
LESSON
No thanks.
He starts kicking and she keeps blocking.
ROBERT
You wanted a tooth out?
LESSON
So aim for my face! It’s not down there!
He clocks her across the face.
The vampires laugh.
SABIAN
Three points!
LESSON
That’s nine points, Sabian!
SABIAN
Better catch up!
She starts dancing around his kicks. She manages to keep her distance.
LESSON
My ears are ringing. Are your ears ringing?
He swings. She ducks.
LESSON
Is it cheers? Sabian? Are points based on cheers?
OWEN
Stop talking!
LESSON
Go to hell, bore-ass.
He goes to grab her. She takes the opportunity to knees him in the crotch, then again in the nose. The vamps howl with laughter.
SABIAN
Five points, Lesson.
LESSON
I told you not to leave openings!
He goes to sock her and she dodges. Her elbow comes down on the back of his head and he hits the ground.
SABIAN
One point.
She stomps on his back, once, then twice.
SABIAN
One point. One point.
She stomps him again.
SABIAN
One point.
He tries to get up. Lesson stomps him again, then one more time.
SABIAN
One point. One point.
LESSON
Verity, how many am I at?
VERITY
Twelve.
LESSON
Oh.
She stares at the kid. He glares at her, holding his bloody nose.
LESSON
So I win…?
OWEN
Your pet is feral, Verity.
Lesson stumbles back, a little dazed. Jacket gone, one boot off, hair down. She looks at the kid as he stands up, pissed. She offers him a hand shake. He gives her a dirty look.
ROBERT
You bit me.
LESSON
Do you know where we are?
She woozes. Verity catches her by the elbow. Lesson looks at her, but leans into her instead of pulling away.
LESSON
You’re on my shit list, Verity.
VERITY
Would it help if I gave you the winnings?
Lesson considers. She laughs.
LESSON
Oh, baby. You do know me.
She almost passes out. Verity holds her up.
LESSON
Don’t you dare carry me like a bitch.
Her legs fail her. Verity catches her hard. Verity pulls her arm over her shoulder.
VERITY
Sabian, be a dear and get the other arm.
SABIAN
Just carry her like a bitch.
VERITY
No.
He walks over and helps.
VERITY
I hope you’re happy, Owen.
OWEN
Very. Though I think Sabian cheated.
VERITY
Your guy just wasn’t insane enough for this crowd. Now, I hope you are happy. I won’t be there for the rest of the afternoon.
ROSE
Just throw her in your room and get back here. We have matters to attend to.
Verity gives her a dirty look, walking out. As she and Sabian get to the door, she sends a look back over her shoulder to see the room. Many are amused, but Conan is the only one smirking. She gives him a dirty look before getting out.